Tips on having a threesome


14th August , 2021


Things You Should Know Before Having Your First Threesome

A threesome can be a good way to spice things up in the bedroom. It can also indicate that you and your partner have unlocked the new levels of being comfortable with each other. It can be a fantasy for many but it might involve a lot of things that you might never have even thought about, especially if you are in a serious relationship.

It can also hold a lot of surprises and can involve things that you might not even be interested in having a threesome by the end of it.

In this blog, we will cover up some things, taking references from multiple couples in Australia who are or have been involved in a threesome, so that you can be prepared for them and can the experience you want to have.

  • Communicate With Your Partner:

Before thinking of inviting a third person to your bedroom, you need to communicate with your existing partner regarding the dos and don’ts. It will definitely cut off most of the surprises with you.

First of all, take your time until you are certain that both of you are ready for it and want it. Once you are certain, start listing down what you want and what you want it for so that you can get what you want without going astray.

Next, discuss what your dynamics will be with the third person as well as with each other. Whether you can see that person alone or not and how involved you will be getting him or her in your life.

Next, communicate what kind of a person you should be looking for that both of you would be comfortable with. Discuss who it can and can’t be, what qualities should be there and what would be his or her role.

After that, go on your search for your third partner.

  • Date: 

Just like any relationship, begin with casual dating and spend time together. Keep it platonic but also gauge the sexual excitement between the three of you.

Also, see how comfortable you three are in communicating with each other. Check them for their habits, attributes, and characteristics. And go on a couple of dates before you make a decision.

Once you and your partner are certain, start communicating with the third person and be transparent about it. Remember that the third person being on the same page is just as important as it is for you and your partner.

Also, communicate with the third person regarding the dynamics that you had earlier agreed on and take his or her opinion. Do not be rigid about it though because the third person will also be likely to have his own preferences. See if you can make things work between the three of you.

It is okay to compromise on certain things if the two of you are perfectly okay with it and try to accommodate the third person, but if there is something that you do not want, it is okay to back off.

Also, make sure that you do not try to force the third person into it. Be rational and let your decisions be rational.

  • Synchronization:

It is even harder for three people to sync together than it is for two. You are likely to have a problem with it and it can be frustrating.

But if you think it is something worth it, it would be normal to give it a couple of tries and be more accommodative. It will take some time to sync together but if you think that it is not working, communicate and reset the dynamics. If you still think one of the three is not adhering to what you decided on, you may want to reconsider your choice.

If all three of you are trying and it is still not working, it is okay, give it a little more time and you should be able to get better every time.

  • Be Just:

The experience of a threesome should be to all three of you, not just one or two until all three of you agree on it.

Make sure that nobody is neglected during your threesome and everybody is getting their due attention. They are having a good time, getting pleased, and finishing.

If one of you is taking favors one time, make sure you return them as well or if one puts in more effort, make sure to compensate him or her for it by doing the same. If one is neglected one time, make sure that he or she does not ‘feel’ neglected and make sure to make up for it the next time.

  • Be Okay With Being Neglected:

A threesome involves more than two people so it is normal for one to be neglected during one session. But be mindful that all three of you are equal partners so no one should be neglected every time.

If you feel neglected, it’s okay. Communicate with your partners and tell them how you feel so that they can be mindful of it the next time. But if it continues to happen, you do not have to feel bad and you can walk out of it whenever you want.

  • Soft Feelings:

Sex is designed to bring you close together, not just physically but also mentally and emotionally. So it is normal for you and your partner to develop soft feelings for the third partner or vice versa.

But as soon as you realize it happening, communicate it with your partner and tell them how you feel. Also, ask how they feel and if it is the same for them. Take their opinion as well regarding if they are fine with it.

If your partner approves of it, you can continue but if he or she does not, stop and weigh your options. Take your time to decide what you want and if it is your partner, it might be a good option to take a break from the threesome. 

On the other hand, if you think you want to go with your other partner, communicate as a group and decide on what you should do. Just do not let the feelings cook inside of you secretly because they will come out in uncontrollable ways and that might be destructive for all three of you.


These were the tips from some of the experienced couples in Australia, aimed at giving you an opportunity to have an insight and make a more informed decision.

If you consider all these things, your experience of having your first threesome will be much better than going into it raw.